I will be busy with my orientation tomorrow for my GED test then will be taking the actual test Tuesday-Wednesday so I will probably not post again until Thursday and I am keeping this one super short. I hope everything goes well. ;p *fingers crossed*
Lately, Kelly has been going out a few nights a week and doesn’t get back until 3:45am or so. It’s not like he leaves at midnight either. No, he usually leaves between 6-9pm and most of the time, he has work the next day. Can you say idiot? After two weeks of being out of work, the first week at his new job, he decides he’s gonna go out drinking. On a frickin’ Thursday so guess what. He goes in late today and his boss doesn’t like people like that. So, if he loses this job, it’s still no big deal because his mommy will pay for everything like she always does. Over half the mony she gives him he doesn’t even spend it on what it’s meant for (bills!). Instead, he spends it all on himself. Going out to eat three times a day, going out at night four times a week, driving to St. Pete then Bradenton then back to Sarasota supposedly going to meet his friend. Notice, it’s all about him. It always has been and always will be. My 17th b-day is coming up and you know what he said? “I’ll take her roller skating or something.” Yeah cuz that’s the only way he can completely avoid me. I’ve never had a real father and I’m not ever going to. The facts are absolute. The divorce isn’t final (he hasn’t even served the papers yet) and I know he’s seeing someone. You just wait, Kelly.
“It’s impossible,” he insisted, turning his back on me.
I took the opportunity to roll my eyes before glaring at the back of his head. If only looks could kill…
“It’s not impossible. You’re just being impossible,” I pointed out, surprised at how calm my voice sounded.
He spun towards me and advanced.
“I’m impossible? Me?” He laughed at me. “You’re the one not opening your eyes!”
“Last time I checked, they are open. Oh, wait for it. There, I blinked for not even a second,” I declared, making sure I fiercely insinuated the sarcasm.
“You know precisely what I mean,” he continued, raising his voice as he continued to step closer to me, trying to intimidate me. “You are never, ever going to be a writer. Grow up!”
“I will become a writer. You can’t crush all of my dreams.”
“You’re never going to be a writer,” he yelled adamantly.
I uncrossed my arms, leaned a little closer to him, and whispered for effect.
I’m under enough stress as it is without “friends” shoving me the rest of the way off the cliff. My parents are getting a divorce. I’m still having mixed emotions about that while other people think “what’s the big deal about it” and such. It’s always everybody else’s problems but they never think for a single second about my own. That’s why I created this blog. It’s a site where I can cram all my ups and downs into and hope that someone comments on it with advice. I should have friends to get advice from, right? Yeah well where the hell are they? They’re moping in a corner about their own issues as always whereas, when I comfort them when they’re in that situation, they laugh at mine and say I’m overreacting. Either that, or they completely ignore me until I give up the subject and then it’s back to them. I don’t have many friends to begin with and I’m beginning to think it’s not completely my fault. I’ve never gotten along with anyone very well and I’ve put two-and-two together for the past couple of years. It’s always about them. They’re talking to me and expect me to react to what they’re saying but when I talk to them, they abruptly become a “brick wall.” Lovely, eh? Well, that’s how I’ve gotten treated a lot lately and I’m finally over the edge. I’ve been slowly dragged closer and closer and closer but a “friend” just stomped on my hand to make me fall down completely. Maybe I’ll regret what I’m saying now later. Maybe I won’t. I just cannot take this crying and stress much longer and no one gives a s***. I guess when I finally lose it and do something crazy, then they’ll get the picture. Until then, I’ll have to keep talking to “brick walls.”
In exactly two months from today, I will be turning seventeen. That’s a creepy thought in itself, right? Well, to me it is. There’s a lot to get done in just those two months and it will definitely be interesting how everything ends up turning out. Hopefully it’ll all be for the best but some things might not be. We shall see, we shall see. So, I haven’t been writing too much lately again. Just winging it, jotting down thoughts and ideas for stories, and taking time to read genres I don’t normally dwell into. I’ve also been sketching a lot, which is really weird of me to. Other than that, not much has been happening that I will put here. Have a great weekend. ;p
Occasionally and very rarely, I get urges to bring out my sketch diary and just draw. I won’t be posting any here for a while, and none of them are original (being found on the internet and sketched from the computer screen to paper). However, I’m not that good at drawing so I’m just practicing basic things until I get better. Usually I sketch dragons, real-life animals, and nature objects. I have had no luck whatsoever at drawing human beings, lol, but I’m not too worried about that. As long as I can draw something accurately, I’m pretty pleased. So for all of you natural artists out there, don’t waste your talents. ;p
I felt like inspiring people yesterday(today) for some reason so I posted on several people’s Facebook walls. Maybe it’s just the Mountain Dew? I’m not really sure and I actually am not minding it. I’ve been writing a lot lately. Ended up joining an online writing community yesterday and will see how well that goes. Maybe I’ll learn something new or will just share my thoughts with other writers. Who knows. Ah, about the writing. Since I’ve momentarily stopped working on my Medieval projects, I’m dwelling more into modern fiction that seems more like modern non-fiction at first glance. It’s going along far more smoothly than I had anticipated before so I’m going to keep it up to see where it takes me. Kelly(my biological father)’s birthday is tomorrow so I suppose I’ll have to do something different for him, regardless if he has been extremely unpleasant to me. I’ll just have to deal with it and not sink down to his level. Well, keeping this one short and sweet. ~Blessed Be~