Another “F*** It All” Day

     I’m under enough stress as it is without “friends” shoving me the rest of the way off the cliff. My parents are getting a divorce. I’m still having mixed emotions about that while other people think “what’s the big deal about it” and such. It’s always everybody else’s problems but they never think for a single second about my own. That’s why I created this blog. It’s a site where I can cram all my ups and downs into and hope that someone comments on it with advice. I should have friends to get advice from, right? Yeah well where the hell are they? They’re moping in a corner about their own issues as always whereas, when I comfort them when they’re in that situation, they laugh at mine and say I’m overreacting. Either that, or they completely ignore me until I give up the subject and then it’s back to them. I don’t have many friends to begin with and I’m beginning to think it’s not completely my fault. I’ve never gotten along with anyone very well and I’ve put two-and-two together for the past couple of years. It’s always about them. They’re talking to me and expect me to react to what they’re saying but when I talk to them, they abruptly become a “brick wall.” Lovely, eh? Well, that’s how I’ve gotten treated a lot lately and I’m finally over the edge. I’ve been slowly dragged closer and closer and closer but a “friend” just stomped on my hand to make me fall down completely. Maybe I’ll regret what I’m saying now later. Maybe I won’t. I just cannot take this crying and stress much longer and no one gives a s***. I guess when I finally lose it and do something crazy, then they’ll get the picture. Until then, I’ll have to keep talking to “brick walls.”

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Another “F*** It All” Day

  1. Steve

    Sorry to hear that things having been going shitty in your life as of late. Your parents getting divorced is definitely something you should care about. Don’t let the brick walls interfere with your feelings. They apparently don’t have any themselves.
    There are a lot of people who are self-centered in this world and only care about themselves. I know it’s frustrating being one the people who isn’t, but it’s something you just have to live with and take the best out of every situation that presents itself.
    You’re an awesome person and I only wish I had better advice to offer.
    I hope everything gets better soon and that you don’t run into any more brick walls for the rest of your life!
    Your true friends will catch you if you fall off the cliff. You can always count on that 🙂

  2. theleagueofelder

    Hey, Jade. Sorry you’re under a lot of stress. I feel so bad–you’re too young to feel so much pressure and unhappiness, because, believe me, it only gets worse once you’re out of school. My parents never divorced, so I have no idea what that’s like, however, my wife took her’s very hard. She had to go to therapy, as she was convinced it was somehow her fault, and then ended up with Crone’s Syndrome, which is no fun. You don’t want to wreck your health over something you can’t really control. I guess the only thinng you can do is try to be there for both your parents, and, mostly importantly, live your life as free as you can. Enjoy High School–easy for me to say, as I hated high school too. I thought I didn’t have a friend in the world, when I actually had many. You know what they say–once you get your head together, your butt starts falling apart.

    Let me know what I can do for you, and I’m looking forward to reading your book.

    Ren

    1. Yeah, divorces really suck. My father and his family have already stopped talking to me but that doesn’t bother me so much anymore. As for high school, I’m getting my GED by Friday so I can get into college early. I’ve been homeschooled for over a year due to my getting swine flu and the teachers were not cooperative in giving me school work to make up. I’ve already proved I’m capable of moving on to college so all I need is my GED and I can hopefully start college at FSU in June. After that, it’s all writing and working. That should help keep my mind off of other things. Thanks for your support.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s