Once again, I find myself in the throes of unhappiness though today was an overall good day. Kelly was home for maybe twenty-five minutes getting ready to go to a concert that he didn’t tell us about until he left because mom was trying to talk to him and he said “the concert starts at 7, I have to go now or I’ll be late” before slamming the door behind him. She was trying to talk to him about me going to college and my birthday Monday. He could care less. Stupid me thought that graduating at 16, starting college at 17, and getting my Master’s Degree by age 21 would actually get me noticed around here. I was obviously mistaken. He didn’t even speak a word to me today. Literally. No “hello,” or anything. I’ll let you in on why I don’t believe in God and am not a Christian anymore (that was only about three years ago, by the way). Every single night when I was little, I would pray that my father would spend five minutes with me each day. Just five minutes. That never worked. So, I tried something different. I prayed to God to give me the strength to be an overachiever so that my father would at least notice me. That never worked. I tried praying countless different ways and that never worked. The only thing I could figure is there is no God. So, I became an Atheist until I got interested in Wiccans. Now I’m Wiccan. Why? Because I know how to think now and make things happen. Am I going to waste this newfound gift on Kelly? Hell no. He’s already proven to me that he couldn’t care less about me. When this divorce is finally over, I will make his life hell. Why not? He’s made my life hell. What goes around, comes around.


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