In Her Honor

     Here’s what a very dear friend of mine wrote for me for my birthday. Thank you so much, Steve! The fact that you did this for me made me cry. I wanted to share it for just that reason.

“A knock on my door caused me to sway

And reminded me of the day.

So I got up and packed my things,

I was going adventuring.

I grabbed the package

And stepped outside.

It looked dangerous

But I couldn’t hide.

It was my quest

And my pride did plead:

“In her honor

I must proceed.”

I headed down the path that led

Through a bog filled with undead.

So I battled the restless horde,

Slaying many with my sword.

With vigor and might

I continued to chop.

It seemed endless

But I couldn’t stop.

Once it was finished

My blade did plead:

“In her honor

I must proceed.”

Next I came upon a forest of trolls,

Slaying them was beyond my control.

So I used the wit they lacked

And made it by without attack.

But my actions

Still brought me pain.

The route I took

Was through thistles’ domain.

Exiting the forest

My cuts did plead:

“In her honor

I must proceed.”

The last step was through a town

That was plagued by the devil’s hound.

So I summoned forth my will and might

As the creature forced me to fight.

Using all my strength

I downed the beast.

So I was granted

A luscious feast.

But I had to leave

So thus did plead:

“In her honor

I must proceed.”

Finally I reached Xanoxixa-Territory

To put an end to this merry story.

So I entered the castle of the dragon queen,

Carrying the package so lust and sheen.

Two Newfoundland guards

Stood outside her door,

Asking me

What I came here for.

 So I showed them the package

And then did plead:

“In her honor

I must proceed.”

They let me in and I gave her the cake,

My journey was over, but it was worth the aches.

Amongst the frosting the message displayed:

“Happy birthday to my friend Aris!”

-Dedicated to Aris Lisvacor

Hope you have a wonderful day! : )”

Today’s the Day

     Yesterday I spent almost the entire day with Josh and had a fantastic time. Today’s my birthday (17) which means tomorrow, I will be changing this blog’s theme back to its original one. I don’t feel any different, in all honesty. There’s still family and money issues along with countless other things. Today’s been just like every other day.

The Story of the White Rose by Steve Benson

In the forest there lies a little grove

That sits alone outside the shade,

At its core rests a glimmering pond

That gleams to roots decayed.

Within the aura that surrounds it

Resonates the sound of nature’s drum,

Trees bloom with life long forgotten

As if autumn had never come.

The wildlife grazes upon luscious greens

All too content to pay heed to the past,

The numerous plants and flowers

Bask in the rays summer has cast.

White roses open to perfect the scene

Embodying the last spark of the serene,

Purity, innocence, and beauty

Radiate through the ravine.

Outside the forest there lies a soul

Who sits at odds with his own face,

At his core rests a regretful heart

That seeks to be replaced.

Within the blood that flows through his veins

Resonates the beating of a lost drum,

Sorrow blooms with love abandoned

As if it was a fallen crumb.

Agony grazes upon luscious tears

All too content to disappear,

The numerous pains and failures

Flood back into the clear.

White roses droop to reflect his past

Embodying the spirit of what will come to pass,

Misery, silence, and forsakenness

Radiate through shards of glass.

The sun sleeps in the sky

When it’s unable to glow.

I run, I fall,

I reach for the white rose.

In the desert there lies a small oasis

That is free from woe and drought,

It’s the only place amongst the sands

Where the candle won’t burn out.

The heat is great, but there is shade

To quell the perils found in life,

The cacti grow and share their feats

By giving hope through dehydration’s strife.

Here the water forms in a pond

That speaks salvation’s dying tongue,

No vultures circle this sandy solace

Since siren songs aren’t sung.

Upon its shores white roses rise

Under the gift brought by the sun,

Seasons change yet still they stand

Forever pleading the night to shun.

Outside the desert there lies a soul

Who is not free from what she wrought,

The candle flamed of which she yearned

Only to backlash its distraught.

The warmth was great, but it did fade

To the folly of blinking an eye,

The love that grew now faced defeat

By giving trust no second tries.

Here the water runs down her cheeks

That are numbed by endless tears,

No comfort is found in what was lost

Since she made it disappear.

Upon her dress white roses wilt

Under the truths a heart extracts,

Seasons change yet remorse stays

Forever pleading to have him back.

The sun sleeps in the sky

When the horizon makes it so.

I wince, I crawl,

I reach for the white rose.

In the ocean there lies a tiny rift

That harbors a glimpse of paradise,

Steady streams and vegetation

Allow the abolishment of sacrifice.

At its center can be found a fish

That swims around with all the sharks,

Together they live in a united school

Finding no reason to not embark.

Onward they strive through life and death

Never complaining about the waves,

They know the current may drag them down

But they refuse to be enslaved.

Amongst the darkness and the shadows

They still see light enough to see,

Although nothing is ever perfect

They still try to make it be.

Outside the ocean there lies two souls

Who harbor fates similar to our own,

Steady streams of desperation

Lead to paths unnecessarily condoned.

At their center can be found a spark

That swims around within our fears,

Together they ignite spontaneously

Finding no end result but tears.

Onward we strive through life from death

Never expecting the repercussions,

We know the future may drag us down

But refuse today’s discussions.

Amongst the dread and desolation

We lose the hope to carry on,

Although no one’s life is ever perfect

There are remedies every dawn.

The sun sleeps in the sky

So the stars lend us their glow.

I kneel, I stand,

I grab hold of the white rose.

People Just Make Me “Lol!”

     It’s a little too early for anything big to have happened to me but I suppose I’ll try to post twice a day to catch up anyway. One! I don’t want a romantic relationship right now, nor with someone I’ve only known for a week. I don’t like being on “dating” sites so I “lol” every time someone e-mails me a few. You can send as many as you like; I’ll just delete them without bothering to look. If I get in a romantic relationship with anyone, it’s going to be someone I’ve already known for a while because I will not trust dating sites. People lie and I already get enough of that from Kelly.


     Once again, I find myself in the throes of unhappiness though today was an overall good day. Kelly was home for maybe twenty-five minutes getting ready to go to a concert that he didn’t tell us about until he left because mom was trying to talk to him and he said “the concert starts at 7, I have to go now or I’ll be late” before slamming the door behind him. She was trying to talk to him about me going to college and my birthday Monday. He could care less. Stupid me thought that graduating at 16, starting college at 17, and getting my Master’s Degree by age 21 would actually get me noticed around here. I was obviously mistaken. He didn’t even speak a word to me today. Literally. No “hello,” or anything. I’ll let you in on why I don’t believe in God and am not a Christian anymore (that was only about three years ago, by the way). Every single night when I was little, I would pray that my father would spend five minutes with me each day. Just five minutes. That never worked. So, I tried something different. I prayed to God to give me the strength to be an overachiever so that my father would at least notice me. That never worked. I tried praying countless different ways and that never worked. The only thing I could figure is there is no God. So, I became an Atheist until I got interested in Wiccans. Now I’m Wiccan. Why? Because I know how to think now and make things happen. Am I going to waste this newfound gift on Kelly? Hell no. He’s already proven to me that he couldn’t care less about me. When this divorce is finally over, I will make his life hell. Why not? He’s made my life hell. What goes around, comes around.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

     As the title says, HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY! I don’t really celebrate today (though I still wear green so I don’t get my arm almost pinched off by crazy people) and I’m going to make you surf the internet to find the history behind this day! Mwah ha ha! Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it. No, I don’t pinky-promise. Now for a basic update, Josh has already fallen back into the same rut, Kelly is as…well…Kelly, and so far no reply from my FSU (Full Sail University) counselor(I guess he only checks his e-mails ONCE a day). I checked my e-mail every half-hour all day yesterday and let me tell you, I’m going to be thrilled to stay offline most of the day today. So, once again, HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY and a last minute reminder: REMEMBER TO WEAR GREEN SO YOU DON’T GET YOUR ARM ALMOST PINCHED OFF BY A CRAZY PERSON! ;p


     Hey, my readers. I have a quick announcement that I somehow keep forgetting. I have a stupid program that decides which comments are spam and which aren’t before I can view them so it automatically trashes the ones that are spam. So, if you comment on my post and you check back only to discover it’s not there, that’s NOT MY FAULT! I’m asking that you take some extra time to send in your comment at least 2-3 times so that it will get past the “spam” process. If it still doesn’t work(you notice it still doesn’t show up for two weeks), get in touch with me through my Live Messenger found here: I do NOT check any of the other e-mails on a regular basis. Have a great St. Patrick’s Day, guys!


     Well, this is problematic! It seems I failed to blog yesterday. What’s with that? I’m pretty sure none of you are disappointed (or have noticed yet *crosses fingers*) until this post at least. There haven’t been many views so I’m almost certain that few know about this dilemma (until I announced it like an idiot, just to make everyone laugh ;p). Rather than cheating and going back to fit a post in, *cough* I’m going to just summarize yesterday’s events up here. After 48 hours, Josh decided to contact me and it seems to be back to normal (for now!), and that is always a warning sign that things are about to take a quick u-turn. In his case, a me-turn seeing as that is one of the main issues. However, as much as I hate to say it (haha), he does seem to have figured out that I mean business. So! Let’s get it together, people! I need more views if I’m going to keep posting daily!


     I love it how everyone wants to apologize and demand for a second chance after I’ve given them about a dozen. Out of the other dozen, have they changed? No, so why would they improve with the next second chance? The only reason I give people second chances is because of the fact that I would want a second chance as well. I have messed up in life plenty of times too and know what it feels like to be cast aside like trash. However, I also know how to get back up on my feet and to become someone that I’m proud of, not to mention not caring what anyone else thinks. Just like what I put as my status on Facebook: “I guess kids my age don’t like me because I have a lot of passion and know exactly what I’m going to do in life. Sure, there will be road blocks but that doesn’t mean I can’t jump over them, go around them, or dig under them. Don’t let people push you around. Just laugh at them because deep down inside, you know they’ll be begging for your autograph one day. ;p” I will eventually succeed while they are left mulling around like sheep without a shepherd. I don’t type empty words either. As a writer, words mean a lot to me (obviously). So, just because Josh has messed up lots of times before according to me and even though I know it probably won’t work out this time either, I’ll go ahead and give him another second chance. I’m hoping that he’ll surprise me and even if he doesn’t, what else have I got to lose?

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson dedicated to Josh Algode.

Yard Sale, College, New Ex-Friend…What Next?

     Since Mom and I are moving out, we’re going through our old things now and are getting rid of almost all of it. It’s pretty cool what you find after almost 17 years. I found the bell and red ribbon that we had to tie around Sassy’s neck when we brought her home because she was so small and we didn’t want to accidentally step on her. There were several other things as well, but I don’t really want to bore all of you with all of the details (wink wink). Today, we called and talked to FSU to see what needs to be done so that I can start attending. I start college on May 2nd and will have my Bachelor’s Degree 32 months after that and my Master’s Degree a year after that. So by the end of 2015 (the earliest), I could be completed with college if I work super hard and fast. That shouldn’t be a problem for me and I’m really excited. I’ll finally be learning with people who will appreciate me. On to the situation with Josh. It has officially resolved itself due to his actions. We’re no longer talking; at least I’m no longer talking to him. Since I’m turning 17 and starting college, I won’t have time for his “childish” behavior at the same time. Josh acts just like Kelly nowadays and I’m sorry but I just can’t handle that. I have enough issues without having two Kelly’s running around causing mayhem in my life (a really funny and literal image came from that; if you don’t catch that, maybe it’s a good thing, lol). I know what’s next now and I’m going to step up to the challenge. I still can’t believe that I’m going to start college soon… I’m not scared but thrilled, while also worried how my mom’s taking this…lol! I hope everyone had a great Spring Break and I hope everyone has a great week!