Stopping and Wondering

     First off, I did pass my driver’s test the first time and received my license today. Wahoo! I know. My mom and I are having a hard time with that fact since that means I’m almost an adult, lol. Continuing on…I’ve been wondering lately about the reason Josh refuses to call/text or return any messages at all. I have a feeling that a little Demon Birdie has been telling him many lies. I believe that this little Demon Birdie has been singing about me saying things about Josh that I’ve never said. The same old back in kindergarten when a tiny rumor can ruin all of one person’s friendships. This little Demon Birdie is doing precisely that for me at the moment. However, I’m not going to shoot down that little Demon Birdie. If Josh is stupid enough to believe any of it, I honestly think he doesn’t deserve to be my friend. If he still hasn’t learned to trust me, he never will and I really can’t sit around all day waiting for people to grow up. I don’t want to have to be the one to solve everything anymore nor the one to try to patch up friendships that I haven’t wronged in. I admit when I am wrong and I do apologize when I am. So, the little Demon Birdie has accomplished what he wants (separating Josh and I) and since Josh has allowed it to happen, I’ll check up on him in several years and see if he ‘wakes up.’ Maybe by the time Josh travels the world, graduates college, settles down, and starts a family, he’ll come to his senses. We’ll see.

Into the Mind of the Writer

     Good news! The Into the Mind of the Writer blog is going to be taken care of a lot better by mia. Instead of one post a month, I’m going to start coming up with at least one post per week. Pretty exciting stuff, right? ;p For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, traverse here: http://intothemindofthewriter.blogspot.com/ to see for yourself. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands since I haven’t started college yet so I’m going to start using that time to benefit others (hopefully it benefits someone, lol) and to encourage people to continue writing. Yes there are a lot of horrible critics out there (they tell you “it sucks” and leave it at that) but that doesn’t mean your work is actually horrible. If you feel like disagreeing with me there, please do comment below because we can talk it over. I know what it feels like to be put-down by even your closest friends. You stand back up and show the world what you’re made of. You don’t have to prove anything to those people. Just use positive energy throughout your journey until you reach that moment when you hold your first published book in your hands.

Summer’s Right Around the Bend

     Summer is right around the corner. I already have a general idea of what I’ll be doing for most of it. Getting settled into my new life for the last half of summer. What about the half before that? Hm, movies, skating, writing, beach, and, of course, music. Kinda boring, eh? Well, I don’t feel like going on vacation but maybe I’ll be able to hang out with a few new people I’ve met. I’m not crazy about going to the mall but it’s the best place to goof off at. ;p

     I haven’t been writing too much but I hope that’ll change once summer is here. There’s just a new, fresh sort of excitement and energy during that time of year. Oh wait, that’s because school is out. ;p I’m just messing with you guys. I’ve already graduated so I’ve been on a summer vacation for a little over a year now. Aren’t I special? Or is that just what I want you to think? Hm…I guess you won’t know. Well, Kelly is gone to his mom’s for the entire weekend so it should be pretty calm and quiet around here. Finally. Less stress for me. Yippee! So what are your plans for the summer? Going somewhere different? Staying at home to spend more time with friends and family? Just taking it easy?

Stopping

    I might need to stop blogging for quite a while until the divorce is finalized. If I do continue blogging, I need to be careful of what I say because people are stupid. Everything I say is blamed on my mom, NOT KELLY, WHO IS TO BLAME, but my mom. A group of people on Facebook are keeping me from going completely insane and I send thanks to all of them(you know who you are). Well, back to packing.

Strange Situation

     I don’t call Kelly ‘Kelly’ straight to his face…so how the hell does he know that I call him that and that I’ve “picked up on that from your mom?” If he’s reading this blog, that’s just fine and dandy. That thought actually makes me laugh because he absolutely hates reading. I’m going to be a writer which is even MORE comical. I bet Kelly never even picks up one of my books. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if he didn’t either because I expect it of him. You guys were expecting an even weirder situation than this, weren’t you? Sorry, I guess my thoughts have gotten a little boring lately, rofl!

     I’ve been listening to Rascal Flatts for the last couple of days and that’s what’s been keeping me on my feet for the most part. Once I move, I won’t have to keep finding ways to keep me from going into depression again, lol. Who knows? Maybe I’m still ‘suffering’ from depression. Whatever the case is, the Zombie Apocalypse on Facebook should keep me entertained, lol. That and my dragons, blog, writing, books, drawing, etc. Lots of possibilities. Just have to know which ones to grab at the right time. ;p

Not Much

     The Zombie Apocalypse has been hitting it off pretty well on Facebook, lol. Once again, here’s a link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_185991761450703&id=186333948083151&notif_t=group_activity A lot of activity there, which is good. I think that some people are thinking a little too hard about everything though, lol. But still, it’s a lot of fun. Not much else is happening around here that’s of any excitement. I didn’t write today but I still might take the time to draw something. I haven’t picked up a book in a couple of days (packed almost all of them up already(NO!!) but I left a handful of them out that I can read until July 8th. Driver’s test this 31st. So, over and out until something chaotic occurs! ;p

Zombie Apocalypse, LOL!

     Today, I brought up how stupid people are thinking about the end of the world and how a group of people were talking about Zombie Apocalypses. DON’T STOP READING HERE! Then we started talking about it and then Heather made an Anti-Zombie group on Facebook, lol!!! All of which is found here: https://www.facebook.com/#!/home.phpsk=group_185991761450703&id=186081574775055&notif_t=group_activity. So now we’re readying for a Zombie Apocalypse, lmao! I’m pretty sure this is all I need to post for the entire day. ;p

Stress Levels Rising Once More

     The days have been getting more and more stressful lately though I’ve been trying to find ways to relieve it. The way I get around my stress about Josh is to write letters daily to him. Of course, I’m never going to give those letters to him, it’s just the best way to relieve the stress in that area. If I don’t speak my mind, I go insane. Today, Kelly got the Final Notice for the construction he did without permits and for the way the yard looks. He’s been very nasty about that and not only about that. Letters came about the divorce and there are now complications with that. My mom was trying to get it resolved but Kelly simply walked out of the door. Did I mention that he spent all of Friday and all day today (except for a couple of hours) at a friend’s house? No? Yeah, and he’s going to hang out with that friend again all night. I’m not insinuating anything either. He probably really is hanging out with his friends. The point is, he’s the one who wants the divorce so he should be the one who is helping to resolve it. But no. Of course, he has to run away from everything. I just wish for once that I was wrong about one human being. He’s also adamant that I still call him ‘dad.’ Does he deserve that title? No. Do I care if any of you think I’m being disrespectful towards Kelly? No. I’ve been respectful all of my life, especially to those who aren’t the same towards me. My own biological father is an ass. I’ve accepted that now and therefore, I will not call him ‘dad’ anymore. He is Kelly. Sure, he brought me into this world and took care of my essential needs (according to law) but has he actually been my dad? Nope, therefore, he is Kelly to me.

     As far as Josh is concerned, I don’t even know what to do about there. I still haven’t heard anything from him and I am very disappointed, not to mention angry. I just have to accept that the only people I can be friends with have to live far away where I can only communicate with them via the internet. I haven’t spoken to…what’s his name on here…in over two weeks also. That’s not such a big deal though. (I’m going to use the name ‘Bob’ for him, so maybe I can actually remember his darn name.) Bob and his family make excuses and try to make themselves seem like the perfect Christians. I’m sorry but nearly everyone on this planet has forgotten what the ‘truth’ of any religion is. You don’t treat people like crap just because you can, you don’t just go to church to show off your clothes or to play games, you don’t force your religion on anyone, etc, yet that’s what more and more people are doing. I was raised ‘old-fashioned’ and so I get along with the previous generation better than with my own generation. It’s ridiculous! But it’s not going to change. It’s only going to get worse. I suppose that knowledge is also stressing me out.

     Not even mentioning that moving is going to be extremely difficult because of the lack of money. Why does no one in this world give anyone else a break? I’m going to hate the first few years of being an adult. Oh look. It’s right around the corner, isn’t it? In exactly ten months. Greeeat. I’m just hoping that I can get published next year so that I can start making some money. Even just a small salary will be better than nothing right now. My mom’s stress is engulfing me at the moment too. Music, movies, nor any other form of entertainment is assisting in distracting me from that right now so I’m writing this in the hopes that it helps a teeny tiny bit. So far, it seems to be working.

     On top of moving, my mom hopes to get me into college by September. Um, that’s $10k up front for the first ‘year’ and $8k for the other three. Yeeah, I really don’t think that’s going to happen and I’d much rather she not try to attempt it. Yes, I need to go to college and yes, I am going to(even after I adamantly refused to do so) but it doesn’t mean I need to start right now when we now have no money. Sure, we’d get better financial aid but how much better is the real question.

     I’ve been getting a lot of comments on the blog about how the material I write here isn’t for them. Um, lemme think about that. This isn’t a professional blog. This is my personal blog for writing almost everything that happens to me in the hopes that it helps someone else out there(if it simply entertains someone, that works too, lol). So, don’t bother to comment about how this blog isn’t your usual reading material and simply go to another blog.

     I’m hoping to finish writing The Dragonscale by August, Race Against Time by November, and Fully United by April. It’s not likely to happen but there’s always a slim chance, lol. That’s if I can get this stress to go take a hike over a cliff with a black hole at the bottom of it so I can write in peace. Writing is the best way to relieve my stress but I found I can’t work on already-in-progress projects. Instead, I have to start a completely new project(hence all of the unfinished short stories I have). I’m still trying to find a way to control that.

     WordPress changed the way you can write posts and I absolutely love it! Writing full screen, I don’t have any distractions and I can already see how it’ll look when I post it. I’m very glad that they fixed it this way. It’s definitely an improvement. Well, my back is starting to hurt from sitting here and typing all of this(even though I’ve only been doing this for 10 mins and wow, I spelled nothing wrong), so I’m over and out. Comment away below, if you dare. ;p

Confusion?

     My day started off with me trying to blog and my computer deciding to do updates for a couple of hours so I completely forgot about attempting to. I then worked a LOT on The Dragonscale before the beginning of Book Two hit me like a Shelby Mk2 GT40. Naturally, I immediately started writing it so today, May 20th, Race Against Time, Book Two was born. Pretty inspiring stuff. Now, as darkness falls(which is my favorite book(When Darkness Falls) by Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory), I can’t help thinking that over two weeks have passed and still no word from Josh. A lovely ex-friend, eh? I’ve even had Skype on and have stayed up until midnight waiting. Nothing. It seems a lot of people from MSA are extremely selfish. I have tried to stay in touch and I’ve been their friend through thick and thin. Then I look around at times like this and wonder what exactly they’ve ever done for me. Well, I’m moving in July and it’s going to be a whole new situation, new opportunities, and a happier me. Why a happier me? It’s because I won’t be packing away any selfish people to carry into my new home. ;p

New Look

     Why a new theme for the blog? Well, the last one (Black-LetterHead) was getting a little stuffy so I decided I’ll change it for a while. I also like the Misty Look, Quentin, Sunburn, Twenty Ten, and Thirteen themes so you may come for an update one day and the blog will look like one of those. Continuing on, I had to set up an appointment to get my driver’s license and the soonest they had was in about two weeks (made appointment Monday) so it’s the 31st. What a way to start June, eh? Since Josh hasn’t talked to me in almost two weeks (that long already?), I found another way where I don’t have to talk to him and I can say things about him that always pisses him off or things that he never wants to talk about. So I’m still waiting for him to contact me. Why don’t I just contact him? Because I’m tired of being the one to have to call/text him first and then he just blows me off. If he does’t want to talk, that’s perfectly fine with me. I’m moving in July and I seriously doubt I’m going to tell him where I live, lol. *stopping self* I’m not going to travel down old roads. Anyway, I’m still writing chapter fourteen of The Dragonscale but I’m a lot further than I expected to be yesterday. My mom hired me as her assistant for her Ebay store since she has a part-time job now and is about to get another. I’m really excited about that and I actually have fun listing all of the jewelry. Call me weird but I’m easily entertained. Oh, here’s a link in case you want to take a look: http://stores.ebay.com/Banyans-Bargain-Jewelry-and-More. There’s not much up right now but there will be eventually. I’ve had random urges to play guitar but since Kelly broke my strings and I haven’t had a chance to get them fixed yet, that’s out of the question, lol. I’ll stick to the piano, I guess, it’s just not the same. Well, back to my writing and country music.