Stress Levels Rising Once More

     The days have been getting more and more stressful lately though I’ve been trying to find ways to relieve it. The way I get around my stress about Josh is to write letters daily to him. Of course, I’m never going to give those letters to him, it’s just the best way to relieve the stress in that area. If I don’t speak my mind, I go insane. Today, Kelly got the Final Notice for the construction he did without permits and for the way the yard looks. He’s been very nasty about that and not only about that. Letters came about the divorce and there are now complications with that. My mom was trying to get it resolved but Kelly simply walked out of the door. Did I mention that he spent all of Friday and all day today (except for a couple of hours) at a friend’s house? No? Yeah, and he’s going to hang out with that friend again all night. I’m not insinuating anything either. He probably really is hanging out with his friends. The point is, he’s the one who wants the divorce so he should be the one who is helping to resolve it. But no. Of course, he has to run away from everything. I just wish for once that I was wrong about one human being. He’s also adamant that I still call him ‘dad.’ Does he deserve that title? No. Do I care if any of you think I’m being disrespectful towards Kelly? No. I’ve been respectful all of my life, especially to those who aren’t the same towards me. My own biological father is an ass. I’ve accepted that now and therefore, I will not call him ‘dad’ anymore. He is Kelly. Sure, he brought me into this world and took care of my essential needs (according to law) but has he actually been my dad? Nope, therefore, he is Kelly to me.

     As far as Josh is concerned, I don’t even know what to do about there. I still haven’t heard anything from him and I am very disappointed, not to mention angry. I just have to accept that the only people I can be friends with have to live far away where I can only communicate with them via the internet. I haven’t spoken to…what’s his name on here…in over two weeks also. That’s not such a big deal though. (I’m going to use the name ‘Bob’ for him, so maybe I can actually remember his darn name.) Bob and his family make excuses and try to make themselves seem like the perfect Christians. I’m sorry but nearly everyone on this planet has forgotten what the ‘truth’ of any religion is. You don’t treat people like crap just because you can, you don’t just go to church to show off your clothes or to play games, you don’t force your religion on anyone, etc, yet that’s what more and more people are doing. I was raised ‘old-fashioned’ and so I get along with the previous generation better than with my own generation. It’s ridiculous! But it’s not going to change. It’s only going to get worse. I suppose that knowledge is also stressing me out.

     Not even mentioning that moving is going to be extremely difficult because of the lack of money. Why does no one in this world give anyone else a break? I’m going to hate the first few years of being an adult. Oh look. It’s right around the corner, isn’t it? In exactly ten months. Greeeat. I’m just hoping that I can get published next year so that I can start making some money. Even just a small salary will be better than nothing right now. My mom’s stress is engulfing me at the moment too. Music, movies, nor any other form of entertainment is assisting in distracting me from that right now so I’m writing this in the hopes that it helps a teeny tiny bit. So far, it seems to be working.

     On top of moving, my mom hopes to get me into college by September. Um, that’s $10k up front for the first ‘year’ and $8k for the other three. Yeeah, I really don’t think that’s going to happen and I’d much rather she not try to attempt it. Yes, I need to go to college and yes, I am going to(even after I adamantly refused to do so) but it doesn’t mean I need to start right now when we now have no money. Sure, we’d get better financial aid but how much better is the real question.

     I’ve been getting a lot of comments on the blog about how the material I write here isn’t for them. Um, lemme think about that. This isn’t a professional blog. This is my personal blog for writing almost everything that happens to me in the hopes that it helps someone else out there(if it simply entertains someone, that works too, lol). So, don’t bother to comment about how this blog isn’t your usual reading material and simply go to another blog.

     I’m hoping to finish writing The Dragonscale by August, Race Against Time by November, and Fully United by April. It’s not likely to happen but there’s always a slim chance, lol. That’s if I can get this stress to go take a hike over a cliff with a black hole at the bottom of it so I can write in peace. Writing is the best way to relieve my stress but I found I can’t work on already-in-progress projects. Instead, I have to start a completely new project(hence all of the unfinished short stories I have). I’m still trying to find a way to control that.

     WordPress changed the way you can write posts and I absolutely love it! Writing full screen, I don’t have any distractions and I can already see how it’ll look when I post it. I’m very glad that they fixed it this way. It’s definitely an improvement. Well, my back is starting to hurt from sitting here and typing all of this(even though I’ve only been doing this for 10 mins and wow, I spelled nothing wrong), so I’m over and out. Comment away below, if you dare. ;p


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