Happy Valentine’s Day. Yeah, it’s a happy day for all of you, yada yada. Get a room. So, to keep us “mushy-haters” entertained, I’ve come up with something amusing. Enjoy.
How to disappear off the face of the earth to people you dislike…
Step One: Tell everyone who hates Twilight that you love the series/tell everyone who loves Twilight that you hate the series.
Step Two: Get a haircut/color your hair.
Step Three: Wear makeup/don’t wear ANY makeup
Step Four: Change the way you talk
Step Five: Rename all of your accounts and block people/Block people but they’ll find you on another site because they know what you like
Step Six: Change your phone number
Step Seven: Make a new e-mail address and use the old one for spam
Step Eight: Avoid spending a lot of time at your usual hangouts
Step Nine: If you see someone you’re avoiding, speak in an accent and pretend your name is Helga/Harold
Step Ten: You can’t disguise your car so occasionally take the bus or walk
For the Serious People…
Step Eleven: Change the way you walk
Step Twelve: Wear vibrant colors/wear dull colors
Step Thirteen: Choose different jewelry/wear none
Step Fourteen: Change all of your favorites
Step Fifteen: Redo your entire iPod
Step Sixteen: Volunteer/be a hermit
Step Seventeen: Read giant books/read picture books
Step Eighteen: Change your job
Step Nineteen: Move to a different state or country
Step Twenty: Better yet, just tell them to f-off