Happy Valentine’s Day

     Happy Valentine’s Day. Yeah, it’s a happy day for all of you, yada yada. Get a room. So, to keep us “mushy-haters” entertained, I’ve come up with something amusing. Enjoy.

 

How to disappear off the face of the earth to people you dislike…

Step One: Tell everyone who hates Twilight that you love the series/tell everyone who loves Twilight that you hate the series.

Step Two: Get a haircut/color your hair.

Step Three: Wear makeup/don’t wear ANY makeup

Step Four: Change the way you talk

Step Five: Rename all of your accounts and block people/Block people but they’ll find you on another site because they know what you like

Step Six: Change your phone number

Step Seven: Make a new e-mail address and use the old one for spam

Step Eight: Avoid spending a lot of time at your usual hangouts

Step Nine: If you see someone you’re avoiding, speak in an accent and pretend your name is Helga/Harold

Step Ten: You can’t disguise your car so occasionally take the bus or walk

For the Serious People…

Step Eleven: Change the way you walk

Step Twelve: Wear vibrant colors/wear dull colors

Step Thirteen: Choose different jewelry/wear none

Step Fourteen: Change all of your favorites

Step Fifteen: Redo your entire iPod

Step Sixteen: Volunteer/be a hermit

Step Seventeen: Read giant books/read picture books

Step Eighteen: Change your job

Step Nineteen: Move to a different state or country

Step Twenty: Better yet, just tell them to f-off

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