All Mashed Up

I’ve been forcing myself to blog lately and some of you may have noticed this. It’s mostly so I’ll stay in the habit of blogging and won’t completely abandon this project like I have done all of the other blogs and websites I’ve previously started. No, this one I’ve had the longest and I’m keeping it. I still remember when my friend, Alexandra, introduced me to blogging and insisted that I start a blog too here on WordPress. I became obsessed with it, sometimes posting several times a day back in the early days. She ended up quitting blogging soon after I started but I’ve always enjoyed the thought that just a little bit of what I think is being read by someone sitting at their computer at home with a cup of steaming coffee or tea next to them. It’s not like my thoughts will ever change the world or anything, it’s just nice to know that at least one person other than me is seeing these words and can offer up their own thoughts on it. This is actually way off-topic from what I was going to originally post today but a trip down memory lane never hurts.

On the 19th, I paid my first phone bill. I know it probably doesn’t seem like a lot but it does to me because that’s one less thing that I have to communicate with my father about. He believes that he can buy me off instead of actually spending any time with me but after all these years, he still hasn’t figured out that I just wanted to talk to him. Well, since before the divorce, I haven’t wanted to speak to him ever again. But there was a brief time after the divorce happened and about a year of me not speaking to him often that he seemed to be trying to actually be a father. However, that was snuffed out fast by the fact that it was all complete bull. From his own mouth, I am “just collateral damage” according to him and he’s quite happy with the girlfriend he cheated on my mom with for years and her two kids. Oh but everyone always tells me that he’s such a great guy! Yes, to everyone but his own family. In order to not speak to him ever again, I need to afford my own car insurance but that’s  a long time coming since I found out recently that it will cost me over $300/mo. I don’t even make that much a month these days. One paycheck alone barely covers my phone bill. It amazes and pisses me off how many taxes and how high prices are for anyone under the age of 21. Get a better job, you say? Well, no one is hiring anyone without several years experience and/or a Bachelor’s degree in something similar. Jobs are scarce, pay is minimum wage, and prices for everything is sky-rocketing. Exactly a month from now, I’m turning 20. To think that when I was a little kid, I thought that everything would be a lot better when I turned 18. What a great illusion.

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One thought on “All Mashed Up

  1. I t WILL get better hunny – you’re young yet. I know things are hard but keep going and keep happy. If you can be happy in whatever you are doing life will seem easier, that’s taken me a lot of years to figure out. ❤ ❤ ❤

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